My plan now is not to plan...
I know I made my new year goals, and I am pretty much trying to improve in those areas of my life. But I have no structural, directional goals apart from.... opening CE, or at least going in that general direction. Last year I made a lot of plans, but so many things did not go as I expected, I felt disappointed in myself so many times for not reaching a goal or doing something I talked about with so much enthusiasm.
For now, whenever anyone asks me where I am going next or what my plans are for the future.. I will just shrug my shoulders and say that I simply have no idea. I know today what I am doing.. sometimes not even that far, I know at this second that I am writing a blog post.. I know what I want to tell you... and that is all I know.
How can we tell what is going to happen in our lives? Happiness for me is having success as a moment by moment goal, making sure I do my best in the thing I am doing at that moment. Whether its a talk with a friend, building the new cafe, working on paperwork or making a meal. All the life we have that we know for sure is the moment that we are living in. i understand that some people feel this is not so smart, not having real plans or structure for your life could send you off in any direction, but would that really be so bad?
I expected a lot from some people and situations this year and last... I ended up being pretty disappointed and heartbroken. The guy I was so sure of, was in the end not sure of me. The trip I wanted to go on, in the end was unreachable. The friend I thought I could depend on, totally walked away. The job I though I would have by now, is still a building site... Perhaps if I hadn't held these high expectations and requirements and had just lived to enjoy the moments I had then, I wouldn't have this feeling like it didn't work out... It just didn't go according to my ideas of what I wanted... but it worked out.. in some way its working out even as I write.
A few of my friends are kind of future worriers, just like me. I worried so much last year about my future. I think girls do.. when they get in their mid twenties, and they don't have a special person in their lives. They wonder if they never will... well I figured there is good news and bad news.. .and you can even tell the bad news in a good way.
So the bad news is that there is a chance that you will never find someone to share your life with. The good news is that you might. The bad news in a good way is that even though you may never find someone, worrying about it and making a hell out of your present life will not be helping in the least. The same goes for career worries.. oh i have heard it a million times, and I myself have said it... the worries about if we are where we should be by this age, financially stable and blah blah blah.
Well guys... who knows what will be... who knows if we will succeed... get married... fall in love... be happy orrrr whatever.... No one can answer those question for you. You can ask your friends... they can try to reassure.... they cannot be sure. The only life you have is the one you are living at this moment, these seconds that you are spending worrying, crying, fearing, you could be doing something productive to make your life better, happier and to push you closer to your dreams. In my view success is living the life you want to lead day by day, being thankful for what you have, but at the same time not settling.. pushing yourself forward to things that you want.
I don't want to waste another second crying about what I don't have... because it simply does not help, pulls me and other down and is a really stupid and mindless thing to do. If we just used our brains a little more, we would see how ridiculous self-pity is. I mean, who are you to say that you deserve to fall in love like all your other friends... that guy in another country just lost his legs in a bombing... wow... do you think you deserve everything others have... because then we might as well take your legs too. Comparing your life and what you want with others or with your unrealistic expectations is a very small minded and stupid habit. I have realized this... because I myself am frequently small minded and stupid and do these things.
Now when I start to panic... to think about something I don't have... to worry that I wont ever fall in love... make any money... have a family or all those other human worries... I just stop, look at myself that moment and appreciate where I am... and remember that I have no idea what is around the next corner. This fills me with anticipation and joy, you never know who you are going to meet, what is going to happen or how its going to happen.... So I am trashing the plans, trashing the worries... trashing the expectations and I am just living for each moment to be good from inside out.
I know I made my new year goals, and I am pretty much trying to improve in those areas of my life. But I have no structural, directional goals apart from.... opening CE, or at least going in that general direction. Last year I made a lot of plans, but so many things did not go as I expected, I felt disappointed in myself so many times for not reaching a goal or doing something I talked about with so much enthusiasm.
For now, whenever anyone asks me where I am going next or what my plans are for the future.. I will just shrug my shoulders and say that I simply have no idea. I know today what I am doing.. sometimes not even that far, I know at this second that I am writing a blog post.. I know what I want to tell you... and that is all I know.
How can we tell what is going to happen in our lives? Happiness for me is having success as a moment by moment goal, making sure I do my best in the thing I am doing at that moment. Whether its a talk with a friend, building the new cafe, working on paperwork or making a meal. All the life we have that we know for sure is the moment that we are living in. i understand that some people feel this is not so smart, not having real plans or structure for your life could send you off in any direction, but would that really be so bad?
I expected a lot from some people and situations this year and last... I ended up being pretty disappointed and heartbroken. The guy I was so sure of, was in the end not sure of me. The trip I wanted to go on, in the end was unreachable. The friend I thought I could depend on, totally walked away. The job I though I would have by now, is still a building site... Perhaps if I hadn't held these high expectations and requirements and had just lived to enjoy the moments I had then, I wouldn't have this feeling like it didn't work out... It just didn't go according to my ideas of what I wanted... but it worked out.. in some way its working out even as I write.
A few of my friends are kind of future worriers, just like me. I worried so much last year about my future. I think girls do.. when they get in their mid twenties, and they don't have a special person in their lives. They wonder if they never will... well I figured there is good news and bad news.. .and you can even tell the bad news in a good way.
So the bad news is that there is a chance that you will never find someone to share your life with. The good news is that you might. The bad news in a good way is that even though you may never find someone, worrying about it and making a hell out of your present life will not be helping in the least. The same goes for career worries.. oh i have heard it a million times, and I myself have said it... the worries about if we are where we should be by this age, financially stable and blah blah blah.
Well guys... who knows what will be... who knows if we will succeed... get married... fall in love... be happy orrrr whatever.... No one can answer those question for you. You can ask your friends... they can try to reassure.... they cannot be sure. The only life you have is the one you are living at this moment, these seconds that you are spending worrying, crying, fearing, you could be doing something productive to make your life better, happier and to push you closer to your dreams. In my view success is living the life you want to lead day by day, being thankful for what you have, but at the same time not settling.. pushing yourself forward to things that you want.
I don't want to waste another second crying about what I don't have... because it simply does not help, pulls me and other down and is a really stupid and mindless thing to do. If we just used our brains a little more, we would see how ridiculous self-pity is. I mean, who are you to say that you deserve to fall in love like all your other friends... that guy in another country just lost his legs in a bombing... wow... do you think you deserve everything others have... because then we might as well take your legs too. Comparing your life and what you want with others or with your unrealistic expectations is a very small minded and stupid habit. I have realized this... because I myself am frequently small minded and stupid and do these things.
Now when I start to panic... to think about something I don't have... to worry that I wont ever fall in love... make any money... have a family or all those other human worries... I just stop, look at myself that moment and appreciate where I am... and remember that I have no idea what is around the next corner. This fills me with anticipation and joy, you never know who you are going to meet, what is going to happen or how its going to happen.... So I am trashing the plans, trashing the worries... trashing the expectations and I am just living for each moment to be good from inside out.
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