Saturday 3 January 2015

New Year Goals 2015

We are 3 days into the NEW YEAR... well almost 4 actually. I finally got around to organizing my goals into some kind of readable and understandable sequence. I decided this year to shoot for one life improvement a month.
 I took time to think about what areas I would like to change or improve and that I thought would make me happier this year. Last year I went through a lot of personal things, I always go through a bit of a summer time sadness in the middle of the year. This is really because CE is slow in Novi Sad in the summer, the lack of business affects my mood drastically. I am so connected to the business that how its doing has been the signs of how I am doing. Towards the end of this year I realized that I am much more then just one Cafe. I took a leap when I went to Graz, I tried to open myself to every new experience I could and see how I would fare as one little girl without a cafe standing behind her. Normally the security of CE and my place in the community of Novi Sad is so important to me, that I don't focus on who I am as an individual, I just see myself as this big lump of entrepreneurial business and all my thoughts and reactions are based on how the business is making me feel.
When I first came to Serbia I came with absolutely nothing that I had right now. I had to take a stand for who I was and decide what I wanted to do, all of these things strengthened me as a person, I took care of my relations with others, my reactions, myself... because I didn't feel I had anything that could define me.. So I had to rely on this little skin and bones body that I lived in, and of course my soul and spirit, that were my core. However like so many things in life, everything changed when CE came into my life, I took care of the business and not of myself. In so many ways my identity slipped and I felt like I had no skills or talents, love, compassion, honesty or strength to move forward in my life. I felt that if CE closed down or something happened, I would close down too.. I didn't know what I would do with my life.
When I went to Graz, I was scared. I was scared of failing, I was scared of people not liking me, I was scared that I wouldn't be able to handle the new business, I was afraid of being out on my own again, but I knew that I needed it. I went into it with an open heart, and I saw that I was a strong person, I understood that no matter what happened to CE, I could make something happen anywhere. I saw that there are good people in every corner of the world, that I would love, be loved and feel acceptance somewhere else. I saw that I could work in other businesses, that I could be a help to others and use my experience to make a difference. I know that no matter what happens to CE, Anna Powdrill is not going to close down, I know that I can make it and that I can learn anything I need to. I am so thankful that I took the risk of going into the next business venture of CE, as always its when you take that leap that you realize that you really can jump pretty high.
So in thinking of the New Year, I realized that I wanted to make not just business minded goals. I wanted to think about what I really wanted as a person, who I wanted to be. What things would make me happier. What things had made me unhappy this year? why did they happen? and most importantly... What could I do to change them.
I learnt a lot this year, I took time to write down a few main points for the lessons that I learnt.

1. Being honest is fair and loving I had a hard time this year having the courage to stand up to people that I knew were wrong, or were doing unloving things. However I saw that when I did get the balls to talk directly to people and to get the people out of my life that were hurting me and causing a lot of destruction, it was only fair to them. Fake smiling and passive aggressive behaviour is very unloving to someone, its sending them the message that they can continue with those actions in their live and its just wasting both of your time.

2. There is always someone who is a blessing in your life and who will make you smile I often focus on the people I don't have in my life, or people who don't like me, I used to waste a lot of energy thinking about them and trying to reconcile or bring people in. I learnt this year the value of the friends that are there, and that no matter who walks out, you need to appreciate the people that stay and not focus on those who actually don't give a shit

3. Everything changes, your feelings change So many times this year on a whim I felt like giving up, I was having a tough time with the staff and I felt that I was a terrible boss. Change and growth are kind of best friends with hard times... the two seem to go together. I learnt this year that all my feelings about myself or others will change, its not forever and sometimes you have to wait out the storm and just hold tight and try your best.

4. Jealousy and Competitive attitudes will ruin friendships, fight against it Through experiences with others this year, I saw the destructive and terrible power of jealousy. I don't know what it is about human nature that makes us feel that if someone is too good, we need to tear them down. I have done this to others and I have had others do it to me. Now after I saw how hurtful and unnecessary it is. I take an active stand against competitive attitudes, destructive and negative comments, observations and jealousy. If I notice someone is very good, beautiful or successful, and I feel a twang of jealousy. I go out of my way to compliment them and let them know how much I admire them, then I think about why, and I try to learn from them.

5. Be who you are and that's enough As I said in my text above, I learnt how to be a person who is a person.. not just a CE manager,

6. Relationships and friends come and go, don't make your whole life about them This was my hardest lesson. I am kind of ashamed to admit it, but quite a portion of my year was spent crying over or thinking about different guys or friends. When I took time to review my year month by month, I saw that lots of months really stood out to me with strong emotional hurtful memories of certain people. I feel that this year I wasted a lot of time with sadness about silly things. I see that people change a lot, they come and go. If you focus on them and base your happiness and security on them, you are building your house on the edge of a volcano, it might seem calm.. but it will erupt.

Ok so this post was supposed to be about 2015 goals. I sidetracked with this other subject of lessons learnt from the last year. Are we ready to leave behind the old and move on with the new? YES WE ARE

Focus of the month of January: Organisation and business (I will be detailing this in a later post)

February Focus: The say YES month... (don't laugh.. and yes in February ask me anything, i will be more then open to new ideas, thoughts, activities and fun)

March Focus: Happiness from the inside out (exercise, food and body)

April Focus: New skill month (I will try to work on one skill that I want to learn)

May Focus: Friends and relationships (This is a month to work on being a better friend, worker, boss, or whatever I am, and improving the relations I have)

June Focus: Family (figuring out ways to be a better member of my family)

July Focus: Love knows no bounds (I will be working on love, being kind, and helpful in a very proactive way)

August Focus: Money, Travel and One big dream (seeing as its my birthday I think its a good time to think about and work on a dream I have had for a while but am not active about. I also wanted to add money, as a time to think about my finances, where I want to be going with them and how I intend on getting there)

September Focus: Learn from others (this month I will gain skills, knowledge and different ways of thinking from people around me)

October Focus: Home skills month (I know I would make a wonderful housewife, but I lack knowledge of a lot of things that are done in a home, I want to work on improving my surrounding and focus on little basic things that everyone knows but I don't.. like buttoning my shirt up right... or cleaning my kitchen cupboards)

November Focus: Languages (This month I will focus on learning a new language to a really serious degree.. or progress with one I am already learning)

December Focus: THE EVERYTHING MONTH.. (I will try to be true to each of my goals and work on them all during this time.. so I will be a super loving, organised, shirt buttoned, listening, German-speaking, exercising person)

Now I know these are vague and without any concrete, reachable steps. The plan is to every month break down the goal into small steps. To make my list of to-do's and asses how I will judge if I have succeeded, and even more importantly if that success has made me happier. I will make the next post about my January goal and the smaller steps I am taking to fulfil them. I already took time tonight to organise all my business papers.. so I am off to a good start. 

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