The days leading up to the summer closing for CE Novi Sad have been a real mixed bag for me. At some points I have felt really emotional and distressed about the future and then again, the next moment, I feel that this stepping out to try a new way is the right thing, and I feel a surge of confidence that it really will work out for the best. 
I also had an infection in my cheek piercings, maybe because of the weather or because of touching them with dirty hands. My face was really swollen and painful, my friend who ran a piercing shop before came over and changed the one on my left side. it was extremely painful, because my cheek was really swollen he couldn't find the ending of the piercing inside my mouth, I thought i was going to pass out. I guess anything that is wrong with our bodies can be pretty distressing. this situation with my face did not make me feel better about everything and I was pretty low on energy and didn't really want to get up in the mornings these days.

In every moment where I feel that everything is kind of crashing down and there is no good road to get on, a door of opportunity always opens to me. I realised how much I doubt myself and my lack of self-belief is crippling and affecting everything. I cannot enjoy my moments in this beautiful country and all my wonderful friends because I am so worried about the future. I think when you are kind of goal-driven as a person you can get so focused on where you want to go that you totally forget that life is NOW, that you are living it and all you have is what you have right that moment. How can I possibly not appreciate even these simple peaceful moments I have, even right now the freedom to sit in CE and write a blog post, drink coffee and be relaxed. 

My point right now is to lose these fears of not having money, of not making it in the future and to really enjoy the stage of life I am in right now. All of the difficulties I am encountering are really not that bad and they have special qualities that if seen in the right way are really beautiful. 

So a little bit about what I am doing.

Today we close CE in NS, closing party, after-party at my house
Tomorrow, If I am alive from the after party, I will clean up the whole place and also pack all my stuff on my bike and get it ready to go
Friday, I start the bike trip from NS to Graz, 5 days of cycling ahead, I will be taking pictures and writing a diary of my thoughts.
From there I have a meeting with the CE crew, talk about the plans and everyones vision.
Next part is still a mystery, I kind of plan to hitchhike back to Serbia through Budapest and then to Greece, Athens... and then to Santorini.... but lets see, anything can still change.