SHIT STORM Part 1
The trouble with troubles is that they are like a big mound
of rotting stuff, you cant quite see how bad it is until you start getting to
the bottom of it, then you realize… that it’s a lot worse then you could see
from the surface.
Where am I going with these deep analogies of life… these
little pearls of wisdom? Yes my friends, I want to tell you about the shit
hitting the fan, and how I am trying to clean it up.
The first thing I am learning from all of this is that
business, paperwork, bills, and house care are actually serious matters that need
to be thought through and personally and deliberately taken care of. My hazy
brain is possibly getting super overloaded by all the details of what goes on
in every area, this is normal, this is why we are blessed in this life with
pens and papers… to write shit down, to make people sign and to check and
double check important stuff like payments.
So basically me and a roommate have been renting a little
house, some of you may know it. It’s a little pink house around the corner from
CE, I adore the house and have loved living there. Basically there have been some major
misconducts of finances between the landlord, the landlord’s representative and
us. Meaning that we have been paying him the
money to pay the bills and rent
and he never gave it to her or something like that. We don’t really know what happened
to all the money we have been paying these months, all we know is that the
landlord returned to the house and gave us some absurd bills amounting to about
500 euros… basically one year of bills and demanded we pay everything or be
kicked out. The frustrating part is that both me and my roommate are away (I
have been away for about 4 months this year in Graz, but always left my share
of the money). We are kind of powerless to really investigate the situation because
of not being there. The last two days have been pretty stress filled, with lots
of messaging here and there between all the different people to figure out what
exactly is going on. In the end it seems we have no proof of ever giving any
money to the guy.. oh foolish us… foolish me…. How could we let this happen?
Well let me tell you simple negligence in very easy when you are constantly in a
rush, forcing so many details into your brain but never really thinking through
some of these things.
I am known for some sloppy money behavioural patterns, I
often forget what I have given someone and when, what I borrowed, what I payed
and what I didn’t. I always knew I should be more organised and think things
through, but it was kind of one of those things that I was never feeling strong
consequences from… because nothing serious had ever happened. Now I am in Graz,
working 3 jobs, all day from morning till evening. I am trying to work on CE
here, pay for CE in Serbia and pay for all living expenses.. and with this
extra bill, it’s a pretty crushing weight on my pocket. In fact if I pay that I
will have nothing for the renovation of CE that I intended to do. Wow…. Life…. It
throws you curve balls and sometimes you seem to be facing the wrong way and
get hit in the head. Already the golden lessons are abounding and coming at me
super fast. I mean…. How can I be so sloppy and inconsistent when I am trying
to run two businesses… how can I be so trustful when I know the way the world
works, when I have experienced it and seen it in so many different colours. I
guess I am nieve, but I truly think this is because I am not thinking enough, I
am rushing, rushing and rushing more… thinking I have to do so much little
stuff all the time and not realising that apart from all the exciting ‘I am a
business owner in 2 countries’ there are some important details that if not
taken care of can make the castle you are trying to build come crashing down.
I feel like I have made so many mistakes in the last year…. Probably
every year, but this last year they seemed to be pretty big ones with nice
juicy consequences. I feel really like an idiot for the amount of stuff that
has kind of gone wrong. At the same time I know that I will learn from all of
this, I will grow and be better and smarter, I really hope that I do.
So now the situation is I have some debts that are pretty
overwhelming , I have no idea how the next bit of this will go. I feel
like Annie in the movie bridesmaids
Yeah this is life, but I guess if I learn these things it
will be much easier for me and for those around me. I know I have a slight
honesty problem myself (to be honest). I always try to look like the good guy
in every situation and place the blame on others for stupid little things, its
not that its hard for me to admit that I was wrong, its more of an automatic
thing. I also sometimes pretend I don’t know about stuff, or have no idea what someone is talking about.
2 things
I learnt
1.
First, be honest with yourself about each and
every dealing, think more, check with your conscience on each decision and don’t
cover things up or make things look better then they are just to save face
2.
Be Careful, watchful and faithful with your
possessions and money, its hard work to earn it, and it hurts to lose it, especially
to stupid things. I will now work all summer, all day to just pay off my bills….
And even then I doubt I can cover it, but you know what.... I am not giving up.
I know I will be penniless, homeless and maybe in a slight depression, but I am
going through life and learning. I am very stupid about many things, and I am
trying to improve.
Thanks for sharing, I will be praying for you and for the extra money to come through. Hold on you are doing an amazing job!!
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing, I will be praying for you and for the extra money to come through. Hold on you are doing an amazing job!!
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