So one interesting experience that
I had in Asia was getting my palm read.
Now I always find two kinds of
reactions when something like palm reading or astrological reading comes up.
Some people roll their eyes and have half a smile on their face when you tell
them about it, they clearly feel it’s ridiculous and don’t take it seriously.
The other half of people are super interested and curious, they would like to
have their palm read and find it really fascinating. So I am more towards the
second group but I also understand the first one completely. It’s not that I believe
everything that is said, but simply that I am so curious about it that I would
not be able to resist having my palm read, my future told or any of those kind
of hocus pocus things that no one really knows if they have any roots in truth
or not.
So at the yoga retreat in Siam Reap
there was a guest palm reader, a crazy looking fellow named Denis, he told us
that he had spent time with the native americans learning palm reading. He was
wearing my favourite style of sunglasses (very tiny John Lennon ones), he had a
big smile and talked in simple child-like anagrams, I liked him immediately. He
was kind of hosting the palm reading as a workshop for free and then afterwards
you could request to get your palm read personally at another time. He was
calling up different people and talking about their palms. It was not about
telling the future or talking about your past, he was talking about your gifts
and attributes, the strong points or weak points of your personality, the
things that would make you afraid or bring you joy. I am sure it was very interesting for each
person when they were having their palm read, but if you were watching and
listening to other peoples reading it didn’t really make that much sense. I
kept putting my hand up to get picked, but no one chose me. Finally at the end he
said he had time for just one more reading and I re-enacted my victory run from
grabbing the bouquet at many friends weddings… and scored myself a spot up
there. So Denis got another friend of
mine to come by and with a pen place a dot anywhere on my hand. After looking at where she had placed it he said
right away ‘well that clearly is dance, I don’t know if you did dance, if you
are a dancer, or were a dancer, but whatever the case dance is your passion and
its what you feel good doing and you need to do it to be happy’. I felt really
touched by this because just the day before I had written down in my diary of
the trip ‘I know I want to dance again’. Dancing has always been special to me
and has always made me happy. I never felt I was very good at it even though I danced
for many years, I always felt like I was not very talented and that it took me
so much longer then other people to learn simple things. However if I take out
the self judgment of my skills, I always knew that dancing had a special
connection with me, I always had my own way to dance and it was good in its own
way. Something interesting that Denis said about many people was how they need
to do more things to just be fun and childlike. Its so interesting that often
when we enjoy something or are good at it, we try to turn it into a business or
take it too seriously, it takes the fun out of it. Then it no longer becomes
the thing that brings us joy and instead becomes a source of stress or
comparison with others. We all need to think about which things bring out our
childlike laughter and happiness and do those things, and see them as a
priority and an important part of our lives. If you lose the happiness and the
joy in your life then what is the point, if you don’t know what makes you
happy.. think back to when was the last time that you could not stop laughing
or when something filled your soul with gratitude and happiness.
Our whole trip in Asia was an amazing experience, with lots of little gems and hilarious, touching and crazy moments, I will have to write lots of posts with short stories from the funny things that have happened. Now i will just share my reflection on a few things.
When I got back from Asia a lot of
people asked me if I was sad to come home or if I was getting the travelling
blues. Me and Tom talked a lot about how even though we loved
our travelling times and all the amazing experiences it gave us, we were happy
to return to our lives here. I met a lot of people while travelling that did not
like their lives, that were escaping in many ways. They worked really pointless
jobs or just didn’t feel good in the life they had created, it was for them a
much more life-changing experience then for us. We realised that we love our
lives, that we are really happy with many many things. Of course its not
perfect and there are also lots of things that bother or make me want to change
stuff. However when I think about my two jobs, CE and messengering.. I am so so
thankful. I love both of them, I enjoy doing each and every thing in those jobs
and I feel passionate about improving myself through them.
I did not feel that travelling really uprooted
or changes my views on life, at one moment this kind of disappointed me because
so many of my friends who had travelled had said how it had been the best thing
they had ever done and how my life would never be the same afterwards. I realised that I have travelled a lot
already, lived in countries where I did not speak the language and been out of
my comfort zone for years now, so the culture shock was not as sudden or
destabilising. I was happy to know that the life I have created here in Austria
is something that makes me happy and challenges me, I don’t need a lot to be
happy, but I have a lot of things to be happy about.
Last year was a bit of a mixed
bag, it had some pretty big moments in there for me but also it felt more calm
and steady then my other years. There
was less inner turmoil and more peace and acceptance. This could be because I am
in a relationship with someone who really settles and supports me, I know that
many other years I was really having lots of emotional problems because of
situations with guys. However I also stay alert, I don’t want my life to settle
down in any way, I do not want to be satisfied or bored or boring, I really
want to live 100 percent, to experience all that life can offer at the highest
amount that I can get it. One thing I would like to stop doing this new year is
putting so much of my energy and time into work. I do not mean working towards
goals or activities that I am happy with, I mean working countless hours just
to earn a little extra money which I do not need. My time is going to be the
most valuable thing this year and I want to try to uproot some of my workaholic
habits and replace them with strong pillars of working hard on myself as well
as in a job or something that brings me money.
I would like to progress in
learning many things this year, for me progress would be to go forward slightly
in some of those goals. Do one class or ask more questions about them. However with the bigger goals such as
learning German, or dancing again, I would like to actually go forward with
them in a more determined way.
Here are some of the things i want to do this next year
1.
Make a concerted effort to learn German (go to
A2 level, be able to hold a 15 minute conversation in German)
2.
Things I want to learn at least a little about:
Bass guitar, Caligraphy, Art and drawing, teaching English, dancing, cooking, bicycles,
design and photoshop
3.
Do one long distance cycling trip
4. Improve in working as a bike messenger
5.
Improve my cake making skills, and figure out
how to do more with this skill
6.
Save a little money and keep better track of
financial things
7.
Strengthen my relationship with Tom and grow
together as a couple
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