I was trying to make a list of things I could do in the future.

I realise every now and then that I have no university diploma, I cheated on all my algebra tests in high school and I have nothing to prove my abilities in the form of paperwork of any kind.

Fishing back and forth between thoughts of going back to study or continuing down this path of activities with no real back-up or support system for the fture… ahh yes its been on my mind from time to time.

Every now and then I think I know what I want to do… I think perhaps I could be a midwife.. those  white dresses and delivering babies.. how heroic.. but then I think of all the blood and all the… bits and pieces i will see… and I think I will need more assistance then the woman in labour.. then I think a journalist would be a good idea.. I could study for that.. but already writing this blog tests my concentration and writing skills.. believe me I am stalling right this very minute. My brain leaps from one occupation to another.. the main problem with me doing any of those things is that I don’t like doing anything too hard for too long. This may seem very un Hollywood movie like.. when you see that all you have to do is work really fucking hard and persist to become a hero.  These two things.. working very fucking ha

rd… and persisting… I can do them both.. but i want to do that for so many different things, not just one. I am aware that there are many people like me, with brains that just don’t compute to the normal career driven path, who crave new experiences, people and ideas all the time, are you one of them? It would be interesting to know how it makes you feel.

We are now watching the Olympics, we see the best and strongest person glorified, we all watch in admiration and kinda dream of doing something worthy of a gold medal ourselves one day. I always wanted to be very good at something, so whenever I got an interest, I forced myself into it with a passion, telling myself that was my thing, then I got distracted with something else and began to work on that… all of this has resulted in who I am today, a collection of random and eclectic half leaned skills on my belt and I have to say I enjoy doing every single one of them when I do have the chance.

Its not so bad to be one of these kind of people, I know lots who are.  I watched a TED talk where someone talked about this and called us ‘multi potentialities’ and it really is reassuring to know that I am not the only one who cannot do one thing and one thing only

Also guys, its not so bad to be a bike messenger and its great to work with Pink Pedals, a really cool and young group with good energy and focused on cycling

I just want to say that if I am not getting lost now (not so much anyways) and managing to bring things to the right places… then for sure anyone could learn and do this job. The whole idea of being a messenger seemed counter intuitive to me, because I am very spaced out, getting lost…. Once I even got lost in my own apartment building… yeah and I'm kind of nervous and jumpy… not calm.. how can I say crazy in more ways?

Three weeks ago I was crying after my shift and I remember one of my friends asking me… ‘well why do you even want to do it so bad, it seems like its really hard for you and not that much money’. I knew though that I had to get through this hard part, the bit where I know nothing and I am always confused. I think I am now safely unto the next stage of learning, not from the complete basics but the improving what I already now know. I do not know why I always wanted to be a bike messenger, for me it felt like it was the coolest job you could do. I have to admit after I rode my first shift with one of the other messengers, I nearly died on the way, it was sooo much harder then I thought, but of course I pretended I was fine… fake it till you make it. After this I was not sure I could do the job, but with time and patience I see improvement.

My favourite things about this job are

1.       Getting to keep your body fit and train while you earn money

2.       The cool exchanges you have with the people you meet along the way, from the people in the businesses or offices to the looks you give people on the street, just a little eye contact telling someone they can cross in front of you, or letting them know you are passing through.

3.       The feeling of satisfaction when you find a new short cut or find a street you were looking for easily, when you try a new way and look to the street name and give yourself a virtual pat on the back when it’s the right one.

4.       The way that streets around the city begin to connect for you, when a friend mentions where they live and you remember that you delivered something there.

5.       The feeling of freedom and of course… pure exhaustion that comes from riding your bike as fast as you can for as long as you can

There are some thing I hate about it too.. such as a super early morning.. but on the flip side.. this can also be really beautiful and refreshing. I do hate being lost and really confused… but as I said before… with time this changes.

 Patience is the name of the game. When i was starting to work as a messenger, or at least when i wanted to begin, i read a quote that said 'A monkey in a suit is still a monkey'. This quote bothered me more then i can say. I didnt want to just say i was a bike messenger or a business owner or whatever else i was, i wanted to really be that, i wanted to be 100 percent genuine and walk the talk. I felt like i would never be able to do that and that i was that monkey in a cycling t-shirt, still a monkey, making a mess everywhere i went. Ah now i can look back and laugh, of course i am a monkey... :) but i am genuine in every effort that i make, i have persisted towards my goals and i am really doing everything i want at this point in my life.

    So an update on what is happening with Culture Exchange. Danny and Lani have made the decision to go back to the states, after giving so much time and effort for our baby in Serbia, they have brought the place back to life. It has lived another beautiful year and they did an amazing job. For thier family and other life goals they will be moving back to be with Danny's dad. Don't worry, Culture Exchange in Serbia is going to be continued, as our dear friends and people who we have worked with for years, Ana and Andy are taking over the shop, they will be putting thier unique colour and flavour into this business. It's amazing how many phases the business in Serbia has had, and its still going, its a really interesting story and it continues to develop. Our place here in Graz has its struggles, some are more on a personal level and others on a simply business level. We have been here one and a half years and its still only scraping by. We get very little money from its and its been a tough battle the whole time. Who knows what the future will hold, but no matter what is going on with the business here, I have the feeling that everything at this point is only preparing me for what is going to happen in the future. I don't know if the busienss here will ever work, but i try to learn as much as i can, to see what things i would change and how i would do it. So thats where we are now and let's see what will happen 

Ah and let me also add that i really built my bike.. and i kinda have a feeling that i want to use some bike-building skills in the future.. maybe a 'pink fixie' brand name... who knows