Grown up Trousers

Being between a big life changing move from Graz to Vienna, I took a job teaching English in a beautiful small town next to Salzburg. The job would last 4 days and I would be alone with a class of 11 kids, between 12-14 years old. As the time approached closer to the job, my confidence ebbed. I hadn’t originally wanted to be teaching alone, but as my 30th birthday had been on the horizon I told myself to grow some balls and start acting my age. In this case, I had thought being 30 meant not being afraid to do something alone and to not hide behind anyone. ‘Stand up and do something for yourself’  had told myself. I began my usual streak of worrying well ahead of the camp, and my worries were based mainly on my appearance.. I’ don’t think I look like a teacher’  I told Tom and my other friends… They told me one thing every time I voiced my thoughts, they told me to be myself and that was enough, it was enough for everything I had to do. Still I doubted, on the way to England to visit my family I told myself I would invest in some grown up clothes… all my trousers have holes, my t-shirts are mostly too big and are from bands, and my legs are covered in tattoos (one that is suspiciously shaped), yes I know I can’t invest in new legs… but maybe something to cover them.. or even just that one tattoo. 

My shopping trip to find grown up clothing was a disaster. Entering a crappy vintage store, that I was immediately drawn to… I found a pair of red Adidas shorts… the investment was instinctive.. I needed them. No other purchases were made that day.. enough said. 

The next try took me to the second hand market, where I found a pair of basic black trousers… they were kind of stylish, going to the ankles and could be rolled up. 2 pounds spent on my grown up self, hurray. Now I can go spend the rest of my money on the usual trash that I love so well, pictures from the thrift store, bags of candy, and most of all.. beer. 

Returning home, the day of the teaching program in Salzburg approached… When I presented my trousers to my new flatmate… ‘those look like teachers trousers’ she said. I patted myself on the back… the rough and wild girl would not be in the public eye this time. 

I arrived at the Salzburg camp, nervous as hell, but things flowed. They flowed from one class to the other, the teacher from Austria and the kids were so lovely and sweet, I realised I never needed to pretend to be anything un authentic to them. I found myself enjoying the classes and enjoying talking and spending time with these kids. At the end of the camp, Marion read me her report on me, she said she wanted there to be no secrets. She wrote so many wonderful things about me, how the kids liked me, how my classes were well prepared and well rounded. I got emotional, all this trying to be, when I already was. And you know what… the grown up trousers stayed hanging in my cupboard… I never even wore them 

Graz to Vienna

August was our last month living In Graz before our big move to Vienna,…

This blog started when I was about to move to Graz, or at least when the idea of starting CE in Graz began, I have been writing my stories on here for the last 4 years. There have been lots of stories worth telling, and I am so glad that I did take the time to write some of them down. The main theme of my writing in the beginning was about business, opening one, how to do it, what to avoid… etc… slowly it became a more emotional dialog, as it took on a more personal form. Maybe I just realised that I am not that good at business, I am good at connecting to people and places and everything for me is an emotional journey and set of experiences. The continuation of this blog is going to be left open, maybe I will feel like writing it, maybe I won’t. I know the adventure is not stopping, because fuck it… im moving again to another city, starting again from wherever I am and I do not know what is going to happen. The differences between my move to Graz and this move to Vienna are many, for one im not homeless and in debt, but I think the main difference is that I am doing this move with someone who is important to me, I did all my other changes alone, and this is the first one that I have managed to persuade someone to come along with me (actually he persuaded me to come with him) 

Life is just passing by so fast, I am already 30 (I thought it would never happen). I want to give this move a try, even though it is hard to leave Graz and everything I have built here. For one I will be stepping away from Culture Exchange, which as many people know has been my obsession for the last 6 years, not only that but its been my thing.. it was what I did… now the question is what do I do? So many ideas and opportunities are awaiting, I guess I have to take it one step at a time, i will try to move forward in the right way, with patience and love. I know for sure I want to ride my bike for a job for as long as I can, and opening another place in Vienna… well lets just say I have Pizza on the brain, possible new business idea for Vienna.. Vegan pizza place… well you will be notified if this dream finds its feet. Although I certainly will not be looking forward to doing the paperwork for another business in Austria, the good news is that I have my gastro licence… so one thing is out of the way. 

Graz has been wonderful to me, I got so attached to the little routines here, the cycling at Pink Pedals, the shopping for our food at the market, the friends who were always just down the road, baking cakes at CE… and so many more things that I cannot even name. I think my time here, these 3 years have been a great success, because they have been super happy years. 

The last month here in Graz was very fast and packed. I was alone running CE (The other owners were on holiday for the month of August) I had many things to do all the time. I was cooking lots of delicious food, baking beautiful cakes, shopping for the business and I have to say I enjoyed it. Even though it was at some points kind of exhausting to get up so early and cook for everyone and make the place run, it made me feel satisfied. It was nice to have my last moments alone with it before leaving, and to feel again that it was really mine, I saw also how fucking capable I am to run a business. I think the last years I really lost my confidence that I can do a good job at this, but every time I am alone and see how I handle it, I have to admit that I am really proud of myself. I keep pushing and can handle the pressure. 

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So moving to Vienna, already we are off to a great start. The great news is we already found a room in the coolest apartment in the city. The RADS nest (Radical, anarchist, dangerous, sisters) it was our first choice of where we wanted to move when we were thinking about Vienna, but all the rooms were taken. At the last moment, we got a chance to take a free room and are really looking forward to live in this awesome WG…