Business 101

It appears that the Cafe side of the CE business in Graz has been closed down. In the recent months we have had a lot of setbacks in almost every area. The main problem being our full premises licence was not yet given to us. Because CE was never a cafe or bar location before, the assessment time and checklist is pretty exhausting and it takes a lot of time. We received a simple permission verbally from the officials at the baumant in order to start business... and we started on April 11th. 5 months since that day and we still have not received the documentation we needed to really assert ourselves a local business and be fully legally open. We didn't exactly tip-toe in our opening months and that is part of the problem, several loud shows and parties caused a storm of complaints from our ever vigilant neighbours, thus causing authorities to take action and indefinitely close the Cafe. This leaves the bike shop and the VELOBLITZ bike messengers (also co-renters of Grazbachgasse 47) as legal tenants... therefore our door is still open. We can conduct business on a very limited basis and the impact of this is working on the moral of all of us. We also got two large fines for the use of the outside area during the opening party and for the noise complaints from the neighbours. Its been a tough long road and i guess there are so many turns and twists that its hard to see straight ahead. Every one of us is trying to keep our chin up and see the positive in the whole situation. We have one Cafe under reconstruction to open and the second one under a temporary closure. We work around the clock and try to figure the solutions to each problem. But can we do all of this before we run out of money?

The weight of the whole situation sits on each one of us, we all understand opening a business is hard. We are also thankful for the help and support of friends who have tried to help us see our way through the dark maze of paperwork that we struggle through. The next step is that we have a meeting on the 17th of September with the people in charge of the business premises licence and in that case will hear what will be next for CE in Graz.

We have been told to make the cafe look as closed as possible in case of an inspection, so we put a sheet up to cover the main bar area and have to have the counters cleared, lights down. The space is still open because of the bike shop and the cyclists who can legally use the property. Its been a very interesting few months... and I feel this is the most positive way of saying it.

CE in Novi Sad is under reconstruction. Danny and Lani are there, also moving their family yet again half way across the world, working night and day on the physical labour of the interior and also on their visa paperwork to avoid deportation this time. We had to push back the opening till sometime around the 20th, it seemed that there was not enough days to do the work that we had to do. Progress is being made and although it is slow, its happening. We aim to bring CE back to NS in the next few weeks which means I will be travelling there tomorrow (attempting to hitchhike from Graz), I will stay there for 10 days and then return for the meeting on the 17th, head back to Novi Sad again for the opening and then back to Graz to finally find a real house and settle a bit. Are you confused? I am. For the last 6 months I have moved around constantly, between the two countries, in a positive light.. it has been adventurous and unpredictable. When I think of the displacement and lack of centre I feel, I think about the Syrian refugees and how they must feel... at least I have friends in both cities to stay with. We should always be thankful, if not for what we have... sometimes for what we don't have. I am travelling not from war, but for a purpose that I believe in and in that case... lucky me.


I have also been invited to give a TED talk in Osijek about CE (TED slogan, 'Ideas worth spreading'... haha.... hmmm). I was thinking to begin with... 'If you think opening your own business is a good idea, you are very wrong'. Just kidding, I will somehow muster up the strength to talk about the beautiful moments that we have all experienced in the last few years as part of the never ending struggle. The TED talk is on 10th of October... something to look forward to... stay posted

Patience, Bread Making and more Patience

Finally i feel the need to write a new post.

Its not that nothing has happened, its just every day felt like a very closely packed suitcase without one little space to spare, and I didn't want to share my thoughts at my tiredest point. I did not want to write all the thoughts that were clouding around me because I was feeling so exhausted, mentally, spiritually and physically. 

I knew that this summer would be a tough one, how did I know? I am not sure, I just had that feeling that there was turbulence up ahead.

After finding out about the situation in Serbia, I had to travel down there to take my things from the house. From here the news was that the landlady was changing the locks and keeping all my stuff, at first I thought it was funny and pictured her trying to fit into my collection of high collared shirts and high waisted shorts and enjoying the hipster gear I have collected over the years. Then of course I remembered my washing machine, fridge, stove and bicycle (the golden one that I designed). As it would be crazy to lose all these things I went to Serbia to clear it up. My schedule was very tight as I was working from Mon-Sat pretty much all day. However because it was my birthday i got Monday off (Oh yeah I am 27 now), and i did a weekend trip to pack up the house and move my things. I did have to pay her the full amount that I supposedly owed, but was happy to get the things out of the house, it was even kind of exciting for me to pack up a house as I had never done that before, I also had plenty of help from Danny and Lani and other friends. 

I then returned to Graz to continue my hard-working life, basically shifts all day every day. I also moved apartment (again) and i really felt good in the new place, i suddenly got my energy back, started training every single day and cooking and making music and doing all the little things that make me happy. Yes happiness... it always comes back, like an old lover that you think is gone forever but calls you again and just walks right back into your life and you feel wonderful again.

I read an article about making bread, it gave the full recipe for bread (the easiest thing of course) but then it finished with.... ' the final ingredient is patience and that is the reason you will never bake bread'. After I thought about this I realised that I am a very impatient person, in fact all of society is, we kind of want everything to happen right away. I want to be successful right away, have the relationship I want or learn everything I want to learn right away. The thing is that of course, this is unrealistic and the real ingredient I think I have been missing a lot from my life was patience. I started to get passionate about bread making and its one of my hobbies that i love to learn and improve in. I saw so clearly how like most things in life, you can make everything, but there is that period where the dough needs to rise... and you just need to wait and walk away for a bit, put it somewhere warm and let it grow, after that you have the again patience taxing process of kneading the dough (about 9 minutes by the way is the perfect amount of time to kneed your dough, or 3 songs on your MP3). The perfect bread recipe was told to me by my friend Thomas, who is  a world cyclist and bread expert, it goes like this.

4 cups of flour,
1 cup of warm water
Sprinkle of salt
1 packet of dried yeast,
+ whatever flavours or special ingredients you want to add to make it delicious

First put about 2/3 cup of flour with the yeast and add the warm water, it should not be a dough, but more of a paste, a liquid almost. mix it, then leave it for about 4 hours... yeah that's right... 4 hours.... the yeast will react with the flour and water and when you get back to it it should be all bubbly and have that yeast smell. then add the other flour slowly. till the point where you cannot mix it with a spoon. Get your hands in there and start to get the dough to a solid form, it should still be sticky, but not too wet. Flour a surface and your hands and kneed for 9 minutes or so. Add the salt and your special ingredients (olives, or sun dried tomatoes... pesto....). Shape it how you want, wet your hands a little with water and pat your loaf all the way around. If you want make markings on the top with a knife, this looks pretty and also helps you see how the bread has risen. Then its oven time, 180 degrees is the highest it should be. If you place a bowl of water under your bread in the oven it will keep the humidity in the oven be higher and this will give you a chewy crust and a soft inside. To test the bread, take it from the oven and tap it, it should have a solid kind of resonating sound, if you cannot tell, then just turn it over and check out the bottom of the loaf, it should be cooked and looking crusty. 

So there it is, my perfect bread recipe for now. For now, because I am learning still and its all a process, just like life. Chances are I will discover a much better recipe and better way of doing it, but i guess the point of lots of things is the learning phase and that we are progressing and making bread definitely increases your appreciation of this simple joy. We are so used to just buying what we want, getting it wrapped in plastic and never understanding the process that everything goes through till its ready and in your hands.. or your mouth. 

On the business side. CE in Graz experienced some pretty tough times too. We still didn't get our real licencing paper. It was a huge process and I don't think any of us were prepared for just how long it would take. Even though we received pretty much an OK to be open, we were told to be low key. However we had some gigs and party's here and the neighbours called the police a few times. It would not have been as much of a problem if we actually had our paperwork all in, but as we did not and the neighbours knew about this, they would purposefully send them to check just that. Just 5 days ago we got a letter in the mail, it was of course in German and we were not alarmed, until our unsuspecting friend suggested he read it for us and then said 'Oh it says you have to close'.... hahaa.... well this was a surprise. Apparently because of the complaints on CE from April and May, God knows what else we will get when we receive the penalties from the rest of the months. Anyhooo we figured out that because the bike shop is totally legal, the cafe can be open, but just cannot have gigs or parties. This was a set-back, because I had worked on September plan for ages, and also had scheduled a lot of gigs. Seeing as we mainly earn well during parties, it was kind of putting the business at risk of losing money in one of the months that we should do the best.
The thing is that now we have really gone through a lot with all these papers and legal procedures. I really feel almost numb to it, its like... yep here we go again, more obstacles. I guess I feel like they may always be there, and we may always have to jump the hurdles. Hopefully they won't always be so big like these ones, but it is a bit of a constant battle when you undertake such a big project, its a lot of risk, a lot of work and pressure. 

The CE in Serbia is about to go into the remodelling phase, that's another big job, so I am guessing next blog post may be about that.

SHIT STORM Part 1

The trouble with troubles is that they are like a big mound of rotting stuff, you cant quite see how bad it is until you start getting to the bottom of it, then you realize… that it’s a lot worse then you could see from the surface.

Where am I going with these deep analogies of life… these little pearls of wisdom? Yes my friends, I want to tell you about the shit hitting the fan, and how I am trying to clean it up.

The first thing I am learning from all of this is that business, paperwork, bills, and house care are actually serious matters that need to be thought through and personally and deliberately taken care of. My hazy brain is possibly getting super overloaded by all the details of what goes on in every area, this is normal, this is why we are blessed in this life with pens and papers… to write shit down, to make people sign and to check and double check important stuff like payments.

So basically me and a roommate have been renting a little house, some of you may know it. It’s a little pink house around the corner from CE, I adore the house and have loved living there.  Basically there have been some major misconducts of finances between the landlord, the landlord’s representative and us. Meaning that we have been paying him the

money to pay the bills and rent and he never gave it to her or something like that. We don’t really know what happened to all the money we have been paying these months, all we know is that the landlord returned to the house and gave us some absurd bills amounting to about 500 euros… basically one year of bills and demanded we pay everything or be kicked out. The frustrating part is that both me and my roommate are away (I have been away for about 4 months this year in Graz, but always left my share of the money). We are kind of powerless to really investigate the situation because of not being there. The last two days have been pretty stress filled, with lots of messaging here and there between all the different people to figure out what exactly is going on. In the end it seems we have no proof of ever giving any money to the guy.. oh foolish us… foolish me…. How could we let this happen? Well let me tell you simple negligence in very easy when you are constantly in a rush, forcing so many details into your brain but never really thinking through some of these things.

I am known for some sloppy money behavioural patterns, I often forget what I have given someone and when, what I borrowed, what I payed and what I didn’t. I always knew I should be more organised and think things through, but it was kind of one of those things that I was never feeling strong consequences from… because nothing serious had ever happened. Now I am in Graz, working 3 jobs, all day from morning till evening. I am trying to work on CE here, pay for CE in Serbia and pay for all living expenses.. and with this extra bill, it’s a pretty crushing weight on my pocket. In fact if I pay that I will have nothing for the renovation of CE that I intended to do. Wow…. Life…. It throws you curve balls and sometimes you seem to be facing the wrong way and get hit in the head. Already the golden lessons are abounding and coming at me super fast. I mean…. How can I be so sloppy and inconsistent when I am trying to run two businesses… how can I be so trustful when I know the way the world works, when I have experienced it and seen it in so many different colours. I guess I am nieve, but I truly think this is because I am not thinking enough, I am rushing, rushing and rushing more… thinking I have to do so much little stuff all the time and not realising that apart from all the exciting ‘I am a business owner in 2 countries’ there are some important details that if not taken care of can make the castle you are trying to build come crashing down.

I feel like I have made so many mistakes in the last year…. Probably every year, but this last year they seemed to be pretty big ones with nice juicy consequences. I feel really like an idiot for the amount of stuff that has kind of gone wrong. At the same time I know that I will learn from all of this, I will grow and be better and smarter, I really hope that I do.

So now the situation is I have some debts that are pretty overwhelming , I have no idea how the next bit of this will go. I feel like Annie in the movie bridesmaids 

Yeah this is life, but I guess if I learn these things it will be much easier for me and for those around me. I know I have a slight honesty problem myself (to be honest). I always try to look like the good guy in every situation and place the blame on others for stupid little things, its not that its hard for me to admit that I was wrong, its more of an automatic thing. I also sometimes pretend I don’t know about stuff, or have no  idea what someone is talking about.

 2 things I learnt

1.       First, be honest with yourself about each and every dealing, think more, check with your conscience on each decision and don’t cover things up or make things look better then they are just to save face

2.       Be Careful, watchful and faithful with your possessions and money, its hard work to earn it, and it hurts to lose it, especially to stupid things. I will now work all summer, all day to just pay off my bills…. And even then I doubt I can cover it, but you know what.... I am not giving up. I know I will be penniless, homeless and maybe in a slight depression, but I am going through life and learning. I am very stupid about many things, and I am trying to improve.

 Novi Sad to Graz, on a bike 

This bike trip with Alexandros taught me many things, I just hope that I can remember them all and more importantly live with them beside me every day. 

Starting off with a simple introduction as to why I would ride to Austria instead of simply taking a bus or train. I tried to tell myself first of all that cycling there would be cheaper, and I used this as an excuse, but I actually knew that wasn’t really true, because when you cycle you always have to spend for food and all that, and 5 days of food and drinking and everything else you might need normally adds up to the price of one bus ticket. The fact is that I love cycling long distance, travelling and meeting amazing people, I love the intense feeling that it gives me, the way my body feels exhausted and worked on and also the time of meditation and focus that I get. When you ride a bike in this way you see so many different kinds of people and ways of living, you also cannot escape from your journey and go worry about the pressures in your life. You do not have an option but to go forward and keep on going forward slowly but surely.  Life is full of ups and downs, these are the words that are repeating in my head a lot these days and its very true. With every uphill you can expect the downhill ride and for every struggle there is a time when you can relax those muscles and let go and enjoy the fast ride with no stress. 

Alexandros lives his life is such a different way, the only way to describe it is that he has faith, faith in nature, in people and in the energy around all of us. So many times when I was panicking because of the situations we got ourselves into, he was calm, enjoying and appreciating the moment. I realised that we always got out of it whole and healthy, and most of the time I was panicking without a purpose. For instance we arrived in Maribor at 10:30pm after a day of crazy riding, it was late, cold and raining, our contact for a place to sleep did not answer, I ran down the street in the rain to try and find the house number of where we were staying, but realised that he had given me the number of the business not of his place. I ran back to where I had left Alexandros with the bikes and started immediately swearing and saying how shit the whole situation was, then I realised he was filming the

whole thing, he just said ‘you see this is reality, sometimes its hard, sometimes we are cold, but we must be at peace and relax and not panic’ (or something like that). Within 15 minutes we got online and contacted the person we were staying with, we slept that night warm and dry and had a wonderful time in Maribor.  I normally panic all the time about everything that goes wrong, but everytime it has worked out and time and time again I see that we need to live more and more with faith and courage and expecting the good things that life will bring us and not in doubt and fear and in panic. Its difficult to sometimes see the positive points in any given situation, but everything is happening to us for a reason, I think this thought is the very first starting step to getting on the right path and if you really believe that it will work out and if you go in that direction, something good is going to happen, it cannot not happen, something good is going to  happen for sure. Life is full of difficult moments, from one to the next we are sometimes so stuck in them its hard to see it as having any point, that is reality, but its how we choose to go through it that can change the outcome. 

Our bike trip was 580 kilometres, its was sometimes tough, hard riding, sleeping in discomfort, waking up early, working to get along and a lot of uncertainty, but in the end… what do I have that I can really walk away from with this.. I have a memory, I have a time which I cannot forget. 5 days of my life normally is going so fast, I cannot tell one day from the next sometimes, especially when I work in the routines that I have to do. But when I cycle for 5 days, I remember every single day, and it feels like weeks, and everytime when you have a point where you are forced out of your comfort zones, you are making your life a little longer, because you are adding more meaning to every moment, you are making everything cost more, worth more and mean more. You will not forget those times when it takes all your courage to leave something behind, fight for something new, ask someone for something that is difficult for you, apologise, be brave or go for the adventures that you really can, but we forget the days we wake up, go to work, go on facebook, make meaningless conversations and do the same old things. 

Things in life should be pretty simple, pretty much following our instincts and enjoying the ride. It can be hard to do this, especially for me, I get very depressed sometimes and can’t see the beauty in anything. I think with people like me, we are emotional characters, we also think a lot about life in the way that there has to be meaning in everything, we hold a high standard for ourselves and feel pressure to reach it. Is there really a right decision we can make in any moment? Or is every choice really going to be right if you are right and seeing it in the right way, as a positive thing, a moment in your life that is precious and enjoyable.

The reality is that sometimes things really do go wrong, we are stuck, we feel depressed, thats reality…. Positive thinking is good, but of course you have to see… reality is that life is full of ups and downs, and there is very little we can do to avoid these downs, we have to live through them.

The days leading up to the summer closing for CE Novi Sad have been a real mixed bag for me. At some points I have felt really emotional and distressed about the future and then again, the next moment, I feel that this stepping out to try a new way is the right thing, and I feel a surge of confidence that it really will work out for the best. 
I also had an infection in my cheek piercings, maybe because of the weather or because of touching them with dirty hands. My face was really swollen and painful, my friend who ran a piercing shop before came over and changed the one on my left side. it was extremely painful, because my cheek was really swollen he couldn't find the ending of the piercing inside my mouth, I thought i was going to pass out. I guess anything that is wrong with our bodies can be pretty distressing. this situation with my face did not make me feel better about everything and I was pretty low on energy and didn't really want to get up in the mornings these days.

In every moment where I feel that everything is kind of crashing down and there is no good road to get on, a door of opportunity always opens to me. I realised how much I doubt myself and my lack of self-belief is crippling and affecting everything. I cannot enjoy my moments in this beautiful country and all my wonderful friends because I am so worried about the future. I think when you are kind of goal-driven as a person you can get so focused on where you want to go that you totally forget that life is NOW, that you are living it and all you have is what you have right that moment. How can I possibly not appreciate even these simple peaceful moments I have, even right now the freedom to sit in CE and write a blog post, drink coffee and be relaxed. 

My point right now is to lose these fears of not having money, of not making it in the future and to really enjoy the stage of life I am in right now. All of the difficulties I am encountering are really not that bad and they have special qualities that if seen in the right way are really beautiful. 

So a little bit about what I am doing.

Today we close CE in NS, closing party, after-party at my house
Tomorrow, If I am alive from the after party, I will clean up the whole place and also pack all my stuff on my bike and get it ready to go
Friday, I start the bike trip from NS to Graz, 5 days of cycling ahead, I will be taking pictures and writing a diary of my thoughts.
From there I have a meeting with the CE crew, talk about the plans and everyones vision.
Next part is still a mystery, I kind of plan to hitchhike back to Serbia through Budapest and then to Greece, Athens... and then to Santorini.... but lets see, anything can still change. 

What the hell are we fighting for?

I didn't write a post on my blog for over a month now. The reason was that I have been going through a really tough time with so many decisions, my brain felt like a a giant tangled ball of string that I couldn't find the end to begin to unravel it.

When I returned to Serbia from Graz I immediately felt the stress and pressure of everything that needed to be done here. CE was having another tough summer, all my savings were in our bar in Graz, and a lot of things were broken and needed repair. Last year the bar also had a tough summer and I put in some of my savings to pull it out of the hole that it was slipping into, this year I did not have that luxury and I felt the pressure and began to panic.

All of a sudden I doubted every decision I had made, to live and stay in Serbia and continue the business here. I felt like it was so much stress and I am constantly struggling. I see many people my age who are working in successful jobs or studying and it just seemed that I was so far behind.

I really had a hard time sleeping and I was crying a lot from the stress and pressure of it. I couldn't figure out what was the best option for myself and what I wanted to do. Everything felt wrong and hard and each option seemed to be a domino effect that a lot of other things depended on. I have doubted my own sanity in these moments as every day I seemed to think a different option was better.

Yes I have considered to close CE Novi Sad, to leave everything and once again start my life doing something else,to realise the dream was not reality and to forget about it all and do something more 'normal'

I do live a crazy life, between two countries, with so many things to do every single day. I have almost no time for myself, almost no money, I can almost never buy anything new, and I work constantly.

This brings us to the question of why we do what we do? What are we fighting for?

if its not a financial life choice, then it must be for something really worthwhile.

This is what I have been trying to clear in my brain.... WHAT THE HELL ARE WE FIGHTING FOR?

Its a fight to live and work in Serbia, its difficult for every single person here. I can clearly see now why so many young people feel depressed and discouraged with the system and don't see results for their efforts. I know why they want to leave and start a new life somewhere else. It's very difficult here.

Everything in our lives is a matter of perspective and worth is only the value that you place on it. It's a psychological thing, if you can attach worth to anything you are doing it will mean something to you, If you cannot, it will mean nothing and dissatisfaction will be right there, waiting for you no matter what you do, how much you earn, how beautiful you are, or how many friends you have.

I spoke with one of my good friends about how I was feeling, I told him so much negativity and showed him the stressfulness of it all. Instead of feeling sorry for me and sympathising with me he told me how much I have that I need to appreciate and be thankful for. After all, I have done so much here in Serbia, its been amazing, the cafe is beautiful and I am strong and able to do anything I want. So many people don't have the advantages I have, and in all of this, I do not appreciate it. He told me If I cannot be happy with what I have right now, right here, then I will never be happy. I feel like we are all putting our expectations so high, we want everything right now and we want it to be perfect. Life is just not like that, there are so many battles that we have to fight every day. It's a fight, but are we fighting? Or are we just letting life happen to us, is everything that is going on beating the shit out of us, or are we beating the shit out of it.

I am here in Serbia because I really believe that CE is something important for the community, that its making a change, that its creating a space that is free thinking, living and giving opportunity to the young people here in Novi Sad. I think this is important, it might not be important to anyone else, but its my perspective that what I am doing matters.

If I look to the future and think what to do.... my goodness Its just a big mess.... I feel the world around me is going so fast and I am still like a little kid, just trying to make sense of everything in some small way and to be happy. Its so easy to give up hope and lose faith in your cause, and to pursue some kind of other goals, earning money and success in other ways. I do believe that everyone's cause is their own and its not that one thing can be greater then another, but its a different kind of importance and sometimes something is just important for you and sometimes its bigger then that, sometimes what you are doing is important for many people, for a city, a country or even for the whole world.

My plan now is to close CE for the summer, 10^th June till 10^th of September, and in this time I will work to do the restoration part and to perhaps go work somewhere for a few months to earn some of that precious paper stuff that we all need for everything.

I plan to actually cycle to Graz from June 12^th till 16^th... as its a cheap, refreshing and beautiful way to travel and its not too far.

From there on, guys, I have no idea what life will bring, or how to work on everything. I must say that in these last few weeks when I have been searching for solutions, some amazing options have become available to me, and I will be pushing forward in as strong a way as I know how. I want to keep CE alive in Serbia in the best possible way for everyone.

We also recently hit our 10,000 FB likes. It's just a small thing that makes me see that CE has had a pretty deep effect on many, many lives.

We also have over 600 reviews on our FB page, they are pretty amazing

I read this quote this morning

Success is a little like wrestling a gorilla. You don’t quit when you’re tired. You quit when the gorilla is tired.

Robert Strauss

I do feel pretty tired of all the struggle much of the time, but then I remember what we are fighting for, that this is life, real, vivid, painful, and fucking beautiful.