Novi Sad to Graz, on a bike 

This bike trip with Alexandros taught me many things, I just hope that I can remember them all and more importantly live with them beside me every day. 

Starting off with a simple introduction as to why I would ride to Austria instead of simply taking a bus or train. I tried to tell myself first of all that cycling there would be cheaper, and I used this as an excuse, but I actually knew that wasn’t really true, because when you cycle you always have to spend for food and all that, and 5 days of food and drinking and everything else you might need normally adds up to the price of one bus ticket. The fact is that I love cycling long distance, travelling and meeting amazing people, I love the intense feeling that it gives me, the way my body feels exhausted and worked on and also the time of meditation and focus that I get. When you ride a bike in this way you see so many different kinds of people and ways of living, you also cannot escape from your journey and go worry about the pressures in your life. You do not have an option but to go forward and keep on going forward slowly but surely.  Life is full of ups and downs, these are the words that are repeating in my head a lot these days and its very true. With every uphill you can expect the downhill ride and for every struggle there is a time when you can relax those muscles and let go and enjoy the fast ride with no stress. 

Alexandros lives his life is such a different way, the only way to describe it is that he has faith, faith in nature, in people and in the energy around all of us. So many times when I was panicking because of the situations we got ourselves into, he was calm, enjoying and appreciating the moment. I realised that we always got out of it whole and healthy, and most of the time I was panicking without a purpose. For instance we arrived in Maribor at 10:30pm after a day of crazy riding, it was late, cold and raining, our contact for a place to sleep did not answer, I ran down the street in the rain to try and find the house number of where we were staying, but realised that he had given me the number of the business not of his place. I ran back to where I had left Alexandros with the bikes and started immediately swearing and saying how shit the whole situation was, then I realised he was filming the

whole thing, he just said ‘you see this is reality, sometimes its hard, sometimes we are cold, but we must be at peace and relax and not panic’ (or something like that). Within 15 minutes we got online and contacted the person we were staying with, we slept that night warm and dry and had a wonderful time in Maribor.  I normally panic all the time about everything that goes wrong, but everytime it has worked out and time and time again I see that we need to live more and more with faith and courage and expecting the good things that life will bring us and not in doubt and fear and in panic. Its difficult to sometimes see the positive points in any given situation, but everything is happening to us for a reason, I think this thought is the very first starting step to getting on the right path and if you really believe that it will work out and if you go in that direction, something good is going to happen, it cannot not happen, something good is going to  happen for sure. Life is full of difficult moments, from one to the next we are sometimes so stuck in them its hard to see it as having any point, that is reality, but its how we choose to go through it that can change the outcome. 

Our bike trip was 580 kilometres, its was sometimes tough, hard riding, sleeping in discomfort, waking up early, working to get along and a lot of uncertainty, but in the end… what do I have that I can really walk away from with this.. I have a memory, I have a time which I cannot forget. 5 days of my life normally is going so fast, I cannot tell one day from the next sometimes, especially when I work in the routines that I have to do. But when I cycle for 5 days, I remember every single day, and it feels like weeks, and everytime when you have a point where you are forced out of your comfort zones, you are making your life a little longer, because you are adding more meaning to every moment, you are making everything cost more, worth more and mean more. You will not forget those times when it takes all your courage to leave something behind, fight for something new, ask someone for something that is difficult for you, apologise, be brave or go for the adventures that you really can, but we forget the days we wake up, go to work, go on facebook, make meaningless conversations and do the same old things. 

Things in life should be pretty simple, pretty much following our instincts and enjoying the ride. It can be hard to do this, especially for me, I get very depressed sometimes and can’t see the beauty in anything. I think with people like me, we are emotional characters, we also think a lot about life in the way that there has to be meaning in everything, we hold a high standard for ourselves and feel pressure to reach it. Is there really a right decision we can make in any moment? Or is every choice really going to be right if you are right and seeing it in the right way, as a positive thing, a moment in your life that is precious and enjoyable.

The reality is that sometimes things really do go wrong, we are stuck, we feel depressed, thats reality…. Positive thinking is good, but of course you have to see… reality is that life is full of ups and downs, and there is very little we can do to avoid these downs, we have to live through them.

The days leading up to the summer closing for CE Novi Sad have been a real mixed bag for me. At some points I have felt really emotional and distressed about the future and then again, the next moment, I feel that this stepping out to try a new way is the right thing, and I feel a surge of confidence that it really will work out for the best. 
I also had an infection in my cheek piercings, maybe because of the weather or because of touching them with dirty hands. My face was really swollen and painful, my friend who ran a piercing shop before came over and changed the one on my left side. it was extremely painful, because my cheek was really swollen he couldn't find the ending of the piercing inside my mouth, I thought i was going to pass out. I guess anything that is wrong with our bodies can be pretty distressing. this situation with my face did not make me feel better about everything and I was pretty low on energy and didn't really want to get up in the mornings these days.

In every moment where I feel that everything is kind of crashing down and there is no good road to get on, a door of opportunity always opens to me. I realised how much I doubt myself and my lack of self-belief is crippling and affecting everything. I cannot enjoy my moments in this beautiful country and all my wonderful friends because I am so worried about the future. I think when you are kind of goal-driven as a person you can get so focused on where you want to go that you totally forget that life is NOW, that you are living it and all you have is what you have right that moment. How can I possibly not appreciate even these simple peaceful moments I have, even right now the freedom to sit in CE and write a blog post, drink coffee and be relaxed. 

My point right now is to lose these fears of not having money, of not making it in the future and to really enjoy the stage of life I am in right now. All of the difficulties I am encountering are really not that bad and they have special qualities that if seen in the right way are really beautiful. 

So a little bit about what I am doing.

Today we close CE in NS, closing party, after-party at my house
Tomorrow, If I am alive from the after party, I will clean up the whole place and also pack all my stuff on my bike and get it ready to go
Friday, I start the bike trip from NS to Graz, 5 days of cycling ahead, I will be taking pictures and writing a diary of my thoughts.
From there I have a meeting with the CE crew, talk about the plans and everyones vision.
Next part is still a mystery, I kind of plan to hitchhike back to Serbia through Budapest and then to Greece, Athens... and then to Santorini.... but lets see, anything can still change.